My name is Sita Ostheimer, I am currently based in Berlin and wonder again how it would be to live in a place where sunshine only leaves at night and warm air is a constant friend.

I am a choreographer, the Artistic Director of Sita Ostheimer Company and teach workshops called Complex Simplicity.

My pathway from student into the professional field of dance was, in my understanding, based on recommendations from a teacher to the choreographer - then from choreographer to choreographer until, with maturity, it turned into being led by what would move me. During my student years I can’t recall any thought of being especially interested in how I moved, nor was I put down or touched by comments of being too fat, too slow, jumping like a lame duck and so on. But the thing that have followed through with me all the way until now, was the incredible experience of joy and interest to get something right. Also to really understand the different elements that occur in dance or movement - and how to make them easier; technic, rhythm, choreography and memory. How to feel less pain in point shoes, understand how to fall to the floor without hurting and hopefully with some kind of grace. How to move fluid, how to lift and be lifted, how weight works, how to gain different qualities as well as figuring out how to not be distracted by emotional challenges. How to deal with self doubt, with physical limitations, with teachers, with classmates and colleges. It was a bit like constantly trying to solve a math equation and not wanting to stop. I am not saying I figured it out at all times, but I was always eager to. It was a very internal study. An understanding through experiencing and living waves of emotions, I felt myself quiet and focused. And I found a comfort in that.

In bios we read the titles of pieces we have danced in, names of Choreographers we have worked for, titles of work we have created. Each of the names and titles include a huge content of emotions. Good ones and more challenging ones, moments of extreme highs and moments of extreme self-doubts. Each name includes an entire journey of losing yourself and re-finding yourself, moments of inner conflict and moments of flow or peace. Moments of being convinced that you are nothing and also moments of experiencing that you are immortal. Gaining incredible friendships, losing them again, gaining new ones and losing again. A constant challenge of adapting to constantly changing tasks, moves, choreographers, teachers, colleges, music, stages, cities, homes.

The lived through invisible content of your Bio and how you coped with it, are big parts of who you are today. All of these names includes spending most of the time in a full room close to people, egos, joy, tears, shame, laughter, anger, reflection, frustration, love, adrenaline and boredom. The entire world of emotions and challenges packed in one room, studio and stage. Dance is the most challenging, most human and most joyful, School of life. It’s a wonderful world.

Back to the Bio, to put it short and in a metaphor, all we see in the Bio is the finally mastered, quiet landing and ending of a triple turned jump. Be proud of yourself. And know you are not alone.

I think I navigated through this with a feeling of being home in movements, more home than anywhere else. And I also just tried to get through it staying alive.

It all might sound dramatic, but thats dance.

The advice I would give to my graduating self, choreographers and teachers and everyone around; you are also a human and you just cant know everything. If they tell you otherwise in any way, don’t believe it. My advise to a graduate now is, to keep on listening to your moving body with ever existing curiosity and honesty, avoid settling on a conclusion about yourself. Try and find joy and interest for your moving body and how the mind works with it, as well in working with - and for others or alone. Find the place in you, the state of mind, where you can generate interest and joy for yourself. So you don’t depend on others, but you have the space to see, hear and be part of a wonderful creation fully and present.

And if it’s not your day, then so it is, no need to punish yourself, keep on moving through and with it. Who knows what comes out of it?

My hope for the future of dance in 2020 is, first of all that there are possibilities to continue, that financial support is available. That schools reflect on their systems and goals, just as much as what a human in dance needs. I also hope that Festivals and Theatres depend less on bringing in big names.

There is so much to add.
Let’s stay humble and genuine.